here’s what’s ridiculous: how long it’s been since i’ve written. let’s just ignore dates and move on:) i can’t promise i’ll become more diligent anytime soon.
seriously though, a dear friend of mine and i were talking a few days ago and she reminded me of something very precious and true. [first a little context] unfortunately i can allow anxiety to become a constant in my life without giving it much thought. my mind fast forwards past the present and speeds into tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month and you get the picture. as my mind calculates everything that is due, everything that could go wrong, and everything in between, i become anxious and worried. i pull all of my fears in and hold them close desperately trying to understand how i can work everything out. silly me. trying to play a role i simply cannot fulfill.
back to my sweet friend’s words of wisdom. as i was spilling out each of my fears and worries she said to me, ‘meg. one day at a time- ask God for your daily bread just for today, not tomorrow- and i believe he will be faithful as he has been in the past.’ well. if that would not put me in my place, i do not know what would. she spoke truth into me. she gently took what i was gripping so tightly out of my hands, set it aside, and said i would be okay. actually, more than okay; God would provide. now, as i am learning to ask for my daily bread, i am able to rest and see God’s faithfulness because my mind is not in june or july. this is a learning process. i am not good at it yet, but i am learning and i am thankful for those simple words given to me just when i needed them.
every once in awhile i like to do a little love to love action on my blog. i love to love a good scarf. the marion walmart had these great scarves for 5 dollars! can’t beat that. they look fabulous, come in lots of colors, and keep me nice and warm on these cold fall/winter days!
scarves can also be a great accessory that is functional and stylish. love to love it!
well, the election is over. a few months ago i was posting articles on ron paul, who did not make it as the republican candidate, obviously. within the past few weeks i have been presented with a new thought: not voting. it sounds silly now, but i literally never thought of intentionally not voting. (yes i thought of not voting because i was lazy but not for a REAL reason) i tossed the idea of not voting around a bit, but i really never felt strongly enough to make not voting an intentional action. as a result, yesterday afternoon i, and three friends, piled into my car and headed to kokomo. i voted, we ate a good meal and we came back to school. nothing seemed significant to me. i did not feel bad about voting and i did not feel good about voting; i just did it.
later that evening my roommate and myself periodically checked the polls and watched obama skyrocket into the lead. before all the results were in obama was declared the winner. i should have left the news off since facebook was a pretty accurate way to check the status of the results:) still, i settled in to watch mccain’s speech and then obama’s. both men spoke graciously and moved me and the millions watching them. as part of the nation panicked and part of it rejoiced i felt a sense of peace. then, as i watched over one million people listen with tears and smiles to obama, the first african american president elect in american history, i felt a tears come into my own eyes. yes, what obama said was promising and passionate and you could see people’s faces hungry for the change he promised. for some it was about democrats in the white house, for some it was about an african american as president, for some it was just the thought that things would be different, that maybe things could get better. people chanted Yes We Can and applauded their new leader.
the tears in my eyes were not for the new president, rather they were for the millions celebrating (and those bitter with disappointment). i watched the citizens of the united states pounce on the thought of hope. i watched and could not help but feel pain at the sight of millions of people searching for something better than what they know. i felt peace. i was not excited. i was not disappointed. i was peaceful. i have found something bigger and better than the american dream. i have stopped trying to achieve the american dream because it only offers disappointment. i have found hope and my hope has brought change into my life.
o God. help me to bring hope and change to those around me. help me to reach out and to offer something better than the norm, help me to overcome the american dream with the knowledge of the life i have found in You.
i just went back and looked over some old posts. kind of interesting to see what i was writing not too long ago. it’s funny to see what i was anticipating is now what i am doing. my semester is halfway over! well, at the end of this week. we are hitting mid-terms and fall break. in a month and a half we will have Thanksgiving break and then Dec. 10th brings Christmas break. hallelujah!
before i came back to school i was taking a lot of time to prepare and to be still. it was glorious. even as i started school i gave myself time to take in moments so i could be ready for whatever was coming next. let’s just say at this time, mid-term, life looks very different from me and it is time for me to reprioritize and to make time for reflection. reflection should never come when i have time. i should be making time for reflection.
i have started sending out weekly thoughts to some of the leaders in my dorm. these thoughts are for them to use or to discard, but they are there all the same. this week i asked them to think about being real with each other, to take time to tell their story, and to take time to listen to someone else’s story. when we know what our story is, we can better learn from it. just because i am a main character in my life does not mean i know what is happening around me all the time. sometimes i feel people, myself included, become so wrapped up in life and how it looks we lose out on knowing who we are and what’s happening to us, not just what others think is happening to us.
i am loosely reading, as in i am not sitting down and reading chapters at a time, a book by Dan Allender called To Be Told. my RD told me to read it, so i’m giving it a shot. here’s a quote i enjoyed from it today.
“…there is necessity and blessing of telling our story to others. To the degree that we know God and then join him in writing our story, we are honored to join others in the calling of storytelling. God, of course, is the Master Storyteller. His self-revelation is captured in a sweeping narrative and then given to us in the Book that grips our heart and captures our soul. God also creates a story with each person’s life- a story that we are meant to tell. And since we are called to tell our story, we are also called to listen to the stories of others. And since we are to tell and to listen, then even more so we are called to encourage others to know and tell and listen to God’s story as well as their own.”
take a rest today. appreciate the fall weather. think about what’s going on with you. share with a friend. listen to friend. or just be.
i love my children’s lit. class. my professor is hands-down my favorite prof. he started off our class without any introduction yesterday and then played this video. he then ended by saying there is truth, even in the Beatles, especially in the Beatles. needless to say…i was really happy. what a great way to start the morning.
this little one amazes me. i watched her in class today and she blew me away. just listen to the feeling behind her playing. no, i cannot do that. it is a very difficult song, but to be able to play, from memory, and with emotion is crazy. then to top it off she is like 7.
in my class we talked about the importance of exposure. that child did not come out of the womb ready to play chopin. someone showed her chopin, taught her about him, let her listen to him, gave her instruction, and nurtured her love of music. what a difference it would make if we all simply exposed people to what we want them to learn. every child has the opportunity to know success, it takes exposure, nurture, and patience. similarly, i believe every person has the opportunity to know love. just as piano and reading and writing take time to understand, so does love. when i teach i hope to expose my students to love, but also to fill them up with as much knowledge and passion as possible. my professors here at school have shown me what it is to be passionate about teaching and it’s starting to rub off. i appreciate that and i am itching to try it out. at the same time, i know i need experience and more teaching to become a better teacher.
just thought i’d share a piece of my day and my thoughts with you. if nothing else, i hope you enjoy little hannah playing chopin.
a new semester. a new phase. new experiences. new challenges. new people. new places. new job. new professors. new challenges. new joys. new. new. new.
with all of these ‘new’ things i am finding it difficult to slow down and rest. in the midst of being busy i have learned more than books can teach me. actually, i have learned (and i am currently learning) many many things. one thing i have been experiencing lately, though, is prayer.
normally, i pray in the morning, throughout the day, and when i am going to sleep. these are not long prayers and they are not done in quiet moments. typically, i pray on-the-go. i see nothing wrong with bringing God into the mundane moments of life and holding conversation with Him. sometimes i stop and i listen, because holding a one-sided conversation is pointless. my whole life i thought prayer was two things: speaking and listening. now i know there is a third and it is to be still. as i forced myself to sit in quiet without speaking or listening, but to let my mind dwell on whatever was weighing on it i found a new side of prayer. it was not full of requests or expectations. i was not forcing anything or asking for anything. instead, i was sitting in the presence of Jesus. i felt such peace. i knew at that time my prayer life would change. it would be less frantic. it would not fluctuate as my emotions fluctuated or as people brought requests to me. somehow, in the stillness i found myself freed from life’s burdens and praying felt unselfish. i was not asking. i was not seeking. i was sitting and enjoying.
as thankful as i am for Jesus, i do not often enjoy Him. honestly. being thankful and enjoying are different. when i am still i am able to enjoy and celebrate Him. i would encourage you to be still. rest. know Him. He knows you. see what happens.
pretty much the only thing getting me through this week is knowing that it’s jermtech week. all week long i get to celebrate, along with many others, the wonderfulness that is jermtech. let me list some things that make jermtech week worth celebrating.
he’s an awesome sound guy.
dedicated to his job.
great singing voice and great at multiple instruments.
this is a new era for me. i have left my teen years and i am wandering into my twenties. twenty holds a lot for me, i suppose every year holds a lot, but i am sitting here looking ahead. this year i am taking on the duties of all hall chaplain, which means i oversee eight chaplains in my dorm at iwu. God has given me a passion for this job and i am praying and preparing because i do not want to do this job halfway. going to a private Christian school holds its own challenges, often very different from a big state school, but frustrating in their own ways. i am hoping to produce change on my campus, for sure it will be quite small, but change all the same.
spending a significant amount of time in the classroom is another new adventure this year. i have practicum and i will be learning how to apply what i have been learning thus far. obviously it will be nothing compared to being a full time teacher, but it will be eye opening and challenging all the same.
back home in kokomo i will continue to lead a small group of high school girls and i believe this could be the best year yet. i am praying God gives me wisdom and creativity in leading them from a distance and will help me facilitate community among them so they may develop lasting friendships. not many people see me when i am worked up or passionate about something, but i do feel passionately that small groups can be life changing and extremely formative in students’ lives. small groups have been revamped this year and i believe they will be amazing.
on top of my “jobs”, although i enjoy all of the things i previously wrote about, except certain school tasks:), i have relationships to focus on, develop, nurture, and be genuine in. this year holds a lot for me, but i am excited and up to any challenges which might come. risking sounding cheesy…okay i know this will sound cheesy, but would you join with me in praying for this year? pray for osm, the small groups, iwu, the community in iwu dorms, that we would develop meaningful and genuine relationships, and that i would grow in my passion for Jesus. pray that i would learn and pursue what it means to live like Jesus as i learn more about Him. thanks. really.
recently i have been threatened by gretchen. she said if i did not write on my blog soon i would be taken off her blog roll. that’s pretty serious, yet understandable. so, in honor of gretchen’s blog i’m going to do a little love-to-love post.
i love to love…. crocs
i know it’s a little ridiculous. even this morning i read an article in newsweek hating on these questionable shoes. personally, i am particular about my crocs. i do not like the clogs, only the mary-janes and flats. despite their less than attractive appearance, my crocs have gone with me through all kinds of weather, walking, and even running around with kids. they are great in the garden or at the fair. they are some of the absolute most comfortable shoes i have ever owned and i will stand by them until they fall apart. also, a little known fact about crocs is that they can be boiled for food in case you are stranded somewhere. so, maybe give some crocs a little love as they are in their last days of being favored.
blogging...i have tried this for a long time now. i know it's hard to believe, but even before it was popular among the people i know, i had a blog. keeping it up is a challenge for me. also, it is a little intimidating to blog. there are all kinds of blogs out there and i am not sure what category i fit into. so, i'll give it another try. o and it's called ridiculous because it's ridiculous how many times i've tried this. so, we'll see what happens.
